FEAR- I have come to know you as a friend of mine. And as with all close friends, we have our exhilarating moments, our frenzied times, as well as the moments we transform into our most precious memories.

My old relationship of fear unfolded as I would grip tightly, be completely afraid to surrender, and carry those emotions as a burden within each step forward into the unknown. And finally, a moment would come when I was tired of my muscles aching from ‘squeezing the quarter so tight between my cheeks ‘ and I let go. (lol)

But seriously, most of my life each ‘fear process’ was usually quite similar. I would first experience the grip of fear through a roller coaster of intense emotions, then eventually releasing my attachment to “what if I fail.” Or the opposite occurred. I would never move forward, just wallow in my fears, distracting myself enough until I forgot about whatever change my heart was asking me to make.

My first transforming epiphany towards fear… was an article I read that suggested to make fear your friend. Huh? That sounded ridiculous. But my heart would not stop tugging, and in quiet moments I could hear whispers of how important it was for me to make some significant changes in my life.

What I’ve learned along the way is… fear will always be present. You can accept it and move forward anyway, or continue to wallow in misery. There came a day that I fully embraced the principle… I HAVE CHOICE. The sooner I transform my reaction to the situation and embrace my fears, the sooner I can have an authentic choice of moving forward.

What does an authentic choice of moving forward mean? Consciously having the freedom to decide if this is something I truly choose to do, or not to do. If it is a definite yes, I can embrace my action steps in moving forward knowing fear as a confidante that helped me gain clarity along the way. If no, I know fear was intuitive guidance from my higher self not to move forward at this time.

A favorite quote by Marianne Williamson calls forth the truth of our fears.
” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

So now, how long does it take for me to rake myself across the coals of darkness before I embrace whatever I am afraid to do? It depends on the depth of my attachment to whatever I fear. I am happy to say that sometimes it is only a short time of self -talks of courage and then I embrace the fear and take the appropriate action steps toward my goal. And still, occasionally, the calendar ticks off weeks or months with great levels of doubt, confusion, and denial of what I know I must do. Those are the painful times that I allow suffering to be my catalyst for change.

But FEAR, my dear friend, we’ve grown closer over the last years. And because of the depth of my willingness to surrender I believe I’ve developed a bit of a muscle towards you. I still do the fear dance, but in many situations, the suffering doesn’t take as long.

FEAR, I thank you for your presence in my life, for the vast learning, for the numerous catalysts for change. You have helped me so much in my ability to create a happy life, full of wonder and adventure. Without your catalysts for transformation, I know I wouldn’t have the courage and freedom to soar.

AND SOARING I AM!

Up until a few years ago, I lived my life so seriously… really, and oh so very responsible. NOW with conscious choice, my attention is to balance my time, my relationships and focus on creating a life I love. I wish I could describe my happiness- but it is not meant for words, it is not even a description of what is happening in the moment. It is simply… a way of being.

What I do know for sure is… focusing on creating a life I love makes me happy. I may not have all the answers, and yet all of that is okay.

I feel the most courageous I have felt in my life. I’ve jumped off about 100 cliffs in the last few years, and all I know is that nothing matters more than consistently creating my peace and happiness.

And as long as creating a life I love is my unwavering focus, I see a whole a lot of heart-expanding, giggle fests, sweet endearments, and bad ass adventures ahead! And I’m loving it!

Peace, love and giggles,
Peggy Lee Sprague – Author of Untethered and Convergence
www.peggyleesprague.com